“Hello, I am a Newby Writer” Made a promise to take writing seriesto see if it is a skill of mine.

Hello,
I am a newly writer.

Credits of writings?
Yes, I have.
Though meager citing’s.
Not even pennies was I paid; so none be saved.

In my heart I feel and know,
God wants me to grow and show,
Others, words I might bestow,
Might lift off their shoulder’s some heavy cargo.

Turned my bottom and ran,
From a talent didn’t think I had.
Guess that is part the plan, writing “Scan yourself, plenty for you can!”
God gave to each his own “doodad’s” whether he be nomad clad in plaid as a Dad with an emotional state of sad or mad.

Running for me,
Solved nothing!
Decided to agree.
Do my best’n development of my writing; by jumping, bumping or buzzing.

Leaning day at a time,
I will climb.
Each step,
At God’s doorstep, or the side door, and with him as my guide, a shlepping, I will go.

Needing to close this poem,
Because since my 2008 wreck,
This journey’s journal b’on and on growing’n’flowing!
Instead of the speck out of my eye, I’ll take the redwood trunk out! Now again I am ready to seek and start my new path with actually joy of my heart beckoning!

If you will please allow me to visit at your next meeting and learn if writing is the skill,
For me of God’s will.
Or, in the next chapter of my life will play a part.
Along with ways of expressions in art I have learned and played with of late, is smart and matches God’s and my heart?

March 9th of 2008 was the Spring day of that year to set the clocks up. I decide to go get breakfast and ended up in our…not so great trauma center. My experience is my opinion but for the sake of brevity and your pity for me; I will venure that my lack of enthusiasm for this hospital is justified based on the number of injuries they missed and messing with my career because I was a good lab rate for a speech therapist student being overseen by a professional with less than six months of experience ut of out of the same graduate school. There will be time to write about that another day.

Writing came about to help with my sanity which was another semi nonexistent problem developed by this trauma center that for me really gave me more problems to undue than the fixed. Saved my life but a few years of undoing the mess they put me was pure Hades.

God carried me through this. Right now he has convicted me..and others around me…used a friend to get both me and hubby back on track. It is weird but so many times I knew I was going to be happy by myself…God fixed everything and life got better.

I knew that somehow I had to share and use all of my skills/education/life learned lessons to do something in a way to service God and it would be something I enjoed. Yes, it would require work; in the end I knew it would be worth it.

Evil devil loves to get us doubting…each time I was close to fingering thinT’s out I started darting out on my own. My friend that intervened bravely in my marriage has also been a rock in spurring me on to slow down but trek on searching for the purpose I know God has in mind.

That is where I have come back to now at this very moment.  Baby steps it is. FEw I admire tell me I have writing skills that ring a resoonace tone with many.  Grammar is something I need to work and work on. Thus, my leap of writing a book has some merit. I was trying to do God’s will but doubt and being overwelmed, I have withdrawn a few times.   Then, health problems and problems arising from the wreck crept back in that I had to face.

In the last year after getting a metal rod out…events have decreased.  I have lost 30+ pounds. I can see the homestretch way off in the distance.  But somehow God has reached out and put his hand on my whole family…my autistic son, my husband and me at the same time. This shouldn’t awe me.  I have witnessed other bigger miracles. I guess it is the peace flowing over me that is enhancing this for me.

Again, this still will require work, work and more by everyone involved. This time the change is that everyone is, seems, really working at chage itself.

Thanks, God, Nita, Susa, Bill, Tanner…the wold.

Pray I continue to explore what you have in mind for me individually, the family and all. Amen.

Oh yes, I can’t forget to be thankful for the lasted family addition. She is like having a baby  but the unconditional love..joy and other she brings is worth it.  Plz see pic of both dogs..one had 6.5 yrs and the other short time over 6 months..she is a year..got from shelter..so I have a middle age child..baby..7 Year old toddler in dog..

And, 20 year old…autistic ..some ways way above mentally..others so pure of heart like an angel …others..much less than is 20 years…

DOESN’T MATTER I LOVE THEM ALL AS THEY ARE….NITA WITH CP

TANNER WITH AUTISM AND OTHER…TAUGHT ME SO MUCH ABOUT MYSELF…HAVE ADD

NITA THAT MY HUSBAND IS WORKING ON MARRIAGE AND I WAS TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THE SITUATION A LITTLE…BUT WE ARE DONG BETTER WITH JOY BACK N OUR HEARS.

LOTS MORE..

YOU TOO CAN STOP FEELING OVERWHELMED..GET BACK THAT FEELING OF *NSYNC WITH GOD..

NEED TO SHARE..I WILL TRY TO HELP

GOD plz touch those that feel they don’t have the talents to do as you have in store for them..Remind them that with your plan..burnout..hate for a job and other will disapate.

I lift up this people..Jesus name Amen.

God I have gotten away from the joy of Christmas…I will work on that Turnaround ..but..plz help me make my family aware we may pray for the food in a wrote manner.

I feel we never mention Jesus and his importance in our life.  Sharing how he works in our life with family at Christmas at some terminal time in the day or night is pretty high on what the event is all about…not presents…or I have to buy a gift for people cause they need it. I get signigicance of family and friends and sharing at this time. Yet, I feel these same people and tribe of mine should get the talk about you and Jesus too.

Help me put this time of talking back in the Christmas family event.

Again another Amen

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“What are you doing different?” Asks Dr. Sam Tan’s yearly eye exam in 2016?

First let me explain that my son is special.  I mean that in an “AWESTRUCK AND ASTONISHED” manner. Let me exclaim that I am not the only individual to notice this or these features of the characteristics called “Autism,” “Autisitc,” “On the Spectrum,” and often having “ADD” with this. An adult with “ADD” is a diagnosis I have after a journey with my son.  Growing up I have a reputation with my siblings and parents as “Sandra has to do it her way!”

Recently, my son and I were eating out at “Chili’s,” his favorite resturant, in the town we live in here in Oklahoma.  Tanner, my son was asking the waitress about recent menu changes.  I hadn’t noticed but in addition to the mouth watering “Molten Chocolate Cake,” there is a new addition to this with a twist, the “Salted Caramel Molten!” It has a caramel center. Instead of chocolate ice cream it has vanilla ahttps://www.c

“May I ask…I don’t mean this in a bad way.  But are you Autistic?” Asked the waitress that has attended to us with great service at this Chili’s.

My son at first scrunched up and you can tell he was frustrated.  If you haven’t read my blogs. One can better understand this reaction by reading this post “Obvious Trouble with Current Accepted Disability Advocacy; Pointing Out What is Wrong!”@ .  It explains that he felt being called “Autistic”was like calling him the MR word. I tried to explain. Now I understand. It only came across that he was different or less than.  Anyone that has ever felt peer pressure or like an outsider knows this feeling.    My friend of over thirty years from college didn’t tell me she had CP until 2013.  I wondered why.  It didn’t matter but it was the same reason.  My mother has a clubfoot and one leg shorter than the other but she never went around explaining she had a disability.  Actually ever doctor visit when asked tall she was she like to play with people and say she average five feet.  This was met with confusion and blank stares.

“I say this because Autistic’s notice details and change with attention to details more than most!  I have admiration for those with autism.” Explained the waitress.

As she went on to state she had three siblings with autism. Saying she was quick to defend them when people were not polite or rude to them in public.  Further along in the conversation I found out she was from Wisconsin; not too far from where my father grew up.

Tanner’s expression began to change as the waitress complemented those with autism and their great memory, attention to detail, honesty and other characteritics she admired.  I told her thank you and again reaffirmed that he had taught me a lesson but that there was a positive side to the term autism.  One that I can mention is that there are plenty of people known to be very smart that have been found to be Autisitc or have autism.  This doesn’t mean that everyone or person on the spectrum has a high IQ but many do.  I think my son is growing…has at least average to above average but his anxiety and nerves or other learning issues have made  him hide his true presentation from the world.  He keeps telling me that doesn’t mean he is that smart or that he will always remember something.

Don’t fear.  I am happy if he is below average, average, or above average in what society terms IQ. Although, I disagree with how this magical number is arrived at per tests as it is currently arrived at per formula’s.  Trust me I am vehement about this.  Reproducing drawings is one test and other such nature.  I have always been bad at this.  Now that I take ADD meds I have actually started drawing.

Oh well.  Put this another way and I love her for it, my son’s current psychiatrist said, “Tanner’s anxiety may cause him to function at MR level!”

Now I know we all hate MR as a word and what it means.  Yet, this wasn’t another undegreed or unmeasured scale adjective word that therapists, teachers and other providers had used for years with me to help me understand Tanner’s crippling anxiety.

Back to the question, “What are you doing different?” Asked by Sam Oliphant Developmental Doctor of Optometrist, Samuel C. Oliphant, O.D., F.A.A.O. see more at this link http://www.afeyecare.com/Categories.aspx?Id=Staff. He practices at Advance Family Eye Care here in Oklahoma City.

Oliphant has been Tanner’s eye doctor for many years.  We owe Oliphant a great deal.  In a way he has been a case manager for Tanner  helping direct me to the therapies most appropriate to his development and with what we could afford even though my husband is a pharmacist as I am (but I worked part time to work with my son extra time).  Also, knowing Tanner for so long, he is well qualifed to expound on noticing a vast difference in my son to comment in it.

Let the video’s give you the answer to the question first then I will explain some of the difference seen in Tanner my son of twenty years now.

Tanner riding horse at Letham Stables in Piedmont, OK

Letham Stables website Letham Stables webstite

Here 

The Letham Stables Mailbox!

John and Debby Letham have had the stables in Yukon not Piedmont, Oklahoma as i mistakenly stated above, “for over thirty-five years!” Both the person that takes my son, Melissa Andrews (http://linkedin.com/in/melissaaandrews  A person specializing in working with special needs/mentoring, youth employment, job coaching and more) and my cousin in Wisconsin that have extensive horsemanship knowledge are very impressed with John.  Heidi, my cousin, (riding since age 2 and has two horses of her own) said John had his horses considerable well trained after watching a video I sent her of Tanner working with the horse in the arena. Tanner had to learn to command the horse to trot/walk/lope and turn on a dime.  The horse responded to John’s voice and the whip (only an instrument of direction not used to hurt the horse I promise) instantly.

This is giving my son confidence and learning to pay attention and teach an animal to respond. Thus, helping with communication and confidence. Plus, the bond that happens between animals and humans, seemingly especially those with special needs such autism (at least to me) gives added emotional response of love and reassurance to Tanner and those like him or really any person that is a human!

John Letham is outstanding in his ways of working with people.  I doubt he changes when he is working with people of a disability or age or gender.  I expect John adapts his tact to meet the needs of his customers is all.  You can tell John loves his horses, customers and introducing each to the other.  John has facilitated a bit of a miracle in Tanner’s life with a lot of help from the horses ove the last year.

Therefore, Dr. Oliphant, to answer your question., “What are(am) I doing different(with Tanner)?”

That has caused Tanner to grow by leaps and bounds in his mannerisms, expressing himself and confidence is giving him riding lessons at Letham Stables.  Below is the address and phone number for contact info.  The website has already been posted.  I want to say I am sure part of this is his age and growing up development. However, I attribute plenty to the riding lessons, the horses as well as John’s input. Some may not like this part of what I know is a big deal in the mix…God.  His plan for Tanner is just that….his plan.  The lessons people learn from Tanner’s life are many.  I know I have learned plenty. God gave me more than the gift of a child in my son Tanner.  He healed me in many horrors of my own anxieties.

Here is the address of Letham Stables.

John & Debby Letham
Letham Stables
Yukon, Oklahoma 730

Helping Youth Have a Faith of Their Own

"This article is reprented by permission from Leading Ideas, a free e-newsletter from the Lewis Center for Church Leadership of Wesley Theological Seminary and available at Lewis Center for Church Leadership"

Here is the site for the orginal article Helping Youth Have a Faith of Their Own. Originally published Feb. 8, 2012.

Helping Youth Have a Faith of Their Own

The fact that youth participate in church less as they get older and often are not present in church as young adults can lead church leaders to assume they lack religious interest. A new book growing out of the National Study of Youth and Religion challenges that assumption. Sociologists Lisa Pearce and Melinda Lundquist Denton found that older teens and young adults see great significance in religion though not always in institutional forms of religious life.

In their book A Faith of Their Own: Stability and Change in the Religiosity of America’s Adolescents (Oxford University Press, 2011), the authors follow up with 2,530 young people, age 16 to 21, surveyed about their faith and religious practices at two points in time. The authors identified five types of religious identity among these young persons.

Abiders (20 percent). These are the adolescents with the highest levels of religious interest and practice. They not only believe in God; they pray regularly, attend services, volunteer, and are most likely to say their religion is the only true faith.

Adapters (20 percent). This group shows high levels of personal religiosity. But compared to the Abiders, they are more accepting of other people’s faiths and attend religious services more sporadically. The Adapters are most likely of all the groups to help others in need.

Assenters (31 percent). These teens say they believe in God, but they are minimally engaged with their faith. Religion is tangential to other aspects of their lives.

Avoiders (24 percent). They believe in God but do not engage in any religious practice. Their God is a distant one, and they often do not name a religious affiliation.

Atheists (5 percent). They do not believe in God and do not attend services.

Meaning for Congregations

What might this mean for congregations wanting to be sensitive to the faith perspectives of youth? We know that participation in formal religious services means little to many youth. They do not necessarily see themselves as less religious because they attend worship less often. The church is often not their primary community of meaning during these years.  

The writers suggest that congregations can support youth as they refine their religious identity with an approach called “scaffolding.” Scaffolding creates a context in which youth can participate at a level just beyond where they are currently. Instead of asking youth to go where they are not ready to go, they are helped to grow from where they are. Hallmarks of all such efforts must be honesty and acknowledgement of the role of doubt in faith.

All people have distinctive issues and needs at various life stages. One lesson from this research is the importance of supporting youth in appropriate ways during these critical years.

Lovett H. Weems, Jr.

“I DID NOTHING WRONG!”

Divorce I declare on November 25th of this year.

“If you stay I will comply!” you said.

Will my age be 95 when this I see and hear?

“I did nothing wrong!” I get all this junk from your head.

Reasonable I planned to be.

Setting some words in pencil.

Even when inside I hadn’t a “Yippee.”

Glad these words were not set in stencil.

One day a week exercise with an Fitness Instructor.

Find a church and attend.

Two times a month on Sundays I direct.

Wednesday I penned.

Date night,

Family night, time,

Couples therapy I write.

Family counseling I chime.

Tanner, a prime consideration.

We each have our own page.

While we need to tune to the same station.

Seems to me I parent around your rages.

Judge me plenty in this marriage.

If you are a Christian and fill in plenty of blanks.

Can we find a carriage,

To carry us where God ranks and we give thanks?

Whose is this baby?

Was your reply to my telling you of my pregnancy.

What does that imply to me maybe?

Great way to start the gestation.

Your way or the highway,

Has been how it seems

Our marriage a flyby,

My behavior says to you. Blowing to smithereens.

I am not lily white.

Marriage takes two.

Perfection is a quest that people must hold.  Allright I did bite.

After a bit, I bet we both blew.

Attention you want.

Tis not Tanner you are for him to prosper.

Only wanting to flaunt.

Called it Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy and like a cosper.

No to church choir.

Hated my enrolling in swimming, karate and many other sports.

Attention you said I wished to acquire.

Forbid me to run for PTA President, threatening me for some reason you’d report.

The house was always yours in title.

Shuffling aside the promise to buy a new house once married.

I didn’t do this or that which was vital.

How I felt as if I’d been buried.

When will you be home?

You were late.

Where is my tomb?

Was I mistake but your love appeared as if hate.

Plenty on our plate, for sure,

We must do,

In finding a cure,

After saying “I do!”

Already, you have stated the fitness instructor you aren’t ready for.

I, in good faith, agreed to remain for three months and try.

Let us remember it isn’t war.

Hope and faith should keep us from cries and saying bye.

Your barter was to walk the dog,

With me two or three times a week,

For 15 minutes to 30 minutes, A fog

Was not your state of mind or your critique.

One day you proclaim,

If it is going to be like this,

We won’t be part of the marriage game.

I pray we can find bliss.

You think I keep bringing up the past,

Nagging without forgiving.

However, there is a contrast.

Purposely, getting at anger thrown out isn’t how I will be living.

I asked you to write down your wants and desires.

Of all things I haven’t forgotten God first is a must.

We must put out many fires while relighting a major fire.

A wind gust of marriage thrust is needed that we trust.

Remember, telling me I couldn’t take Tanner

By himself on a vacation.

One big banner,

Is that I can do this type of migration.

Our marriage has lots of problems.

I promise to convey,

My love and earnest,

Struggle to succeed.

God states anything is possible

Through Christ.

Thinking we agree on most of the doctrinal,

Principles from the bible, we must pay the price.

Forgetting and forgiving,

Yes, I concur,

Without misgivings.

If you and I finally understand each other without it being a blur.

God, with faith,

We pray and ask,

To hear what you saith.

Vowing to endure any task.